Great Expectations

We have all seen items like the "Your Baby Can Read" programs. We have all sat and wondered should my child be crawling, walking, talking, this, that or another thing. Over the last couple of days I have really had a chance to see first hand how we all strive to push our kids to do this or that as soon as possible. To think that if they are not crawling by 6-8 months, or talking before 2 years old, then there might be something wrong.

With my younger son (Little B), I went through that talking dilemma that he wasn't talking at the appropriate age. We talked to his doctor who recommended us to a speech therapist. The speech therapist came out twice a month to work with Little B. In my honest opinion I didn't really see that she did a whole lot. 30-45 minutes twice a month wasn't having much impact. (Not saying she maybe didn't help for those speech therapists out there, just saying we didn't see that as a change in our house.) What did have an impact was that we realized we had been doing things different with him than with his older brother. With Big B we sat down each and ever night to read a book or two. He was also our only child so we talked TO him.
We soon realized with Little B that we were putting him to bed without reading him a book, and since he wasn't talking, we were all talking AROUND him, and not WITH him.

When we changed how we did things in our house, we noticed a huge change. He started learning and saying new words every single day. I also think that at the time he just wasn't ready to talk. There is nothing wrong with that. Now he is a happy, healthy and VERY talkative 2 year old.

The next incident came a week or so ago. I have been stressing quite a bit lately because Big B, our kindergartner, isn't reading all his words yet. I thought that he was behind and at times I was getting so frustrated when we read together because it just didn't make sense that he could get the words (words like "this", "them" and "they"). I talked with his teacher who said he had a tendency to space out when it came to reading. Because of this, I thought to myself, I wonder if maybe there is something wrong. I spent a few days worrying about what we were going to do. If we needed to see a doctor about it, or if there was more we could do at home.

A few days ago a wonderful neighbor (who also happens to be my amazing visiting teacher) was over and we were talking about kids and school. She had taken a child development class and was telling me that some kids brains just don't "click" into the "education" mode until age 6 or later. She also told me to relax. The school we are in is supposed to be the most rigorous in our district, and they push kids to learn faster. I decided to wait it out a little while and see how things panned out before taking Big B to the doctor.

Well an amazing moment happened yesterday. I was sitting and talking with out day care provider and telling her about my concerns. She told me that the other kids she tends who are his same age, and a little older, we not even reading simple words yet, and they were also just learning their letters and the sounds they make. What?! I thought. I have been worrying and pushing Big B because I thought he was behind when really he is doing amazingly well for his age. All because I had it in my mind that he was supposed to be further along than he was. That was such a sigh of relief.

I am not saying that some people might have children who need a little more push, or help in areas of their life. I know there will be times that my kids wont be able to catch on to things so easily. Heck, there are times I struggle to understand things that seem like they should be so simple. What I am just getting at is there isn't a set moment when you kids are supposed to know how to do something. It's best to relax and help them in their journey of life. To teach them and love them, and let them grow. (At their own pace)